Dear Diary,
I was eating breakfast this morning and found what appeared to be a pubic hair in my alphabits. To my knowledge I didn't remember sticking my dick in the milk and/or the cereal box today.... Which made me come to one conclusion! I went back in time to the factory and stuck my dick in the cereal processing plant where they create it. I was in turmoil diary. Because there is no way one of the workers could have left a pube in the cereal! They have high standards for food plants these days. Diary I knew i was sick in the head but never realized that I could go back in time! So I studied movies like Back to The Future, Star Trek First Contact, Time Cop, Terminator, and Bill Nye The Science Guy! I needed to go back in time to warn the workers of that plant i was coming to stick my dick in the cereal..... BUT HOW!!! I had myself a chicken or the egg problem.

Diary I did what any sane man would do and make a time machine out of a bicycle! I proceeded to steal uranium from my terrorist neighbors house to use as the energy to create and convert the chronometric particles around the bicycle and started pedaling and all of a sudden boom! I was back in the past and coincidentally at the plant that made my favorite cereal.... sweet and it was night time. So i went into a window and started putting my dick on everything and then realized after I was done i had did what i wanted to prevent and found the time circle i created by accident was complete. Weird huh so I went back out to get my time bike and found it missing! "HOly Shit I said some n****r stole my bike! And is changing history!" I said. I then found a note where it was last parked. It read "Hey white man I just stole your bike I want to tell you i am sorry about this. I try not to live up to my stereotype but its tough man..... Anyway im gonna get some KFC and white Wimmins! Peace DOG! -Martin Luther King ". I then replied with a "OH SHIT!!!!! I AM THE REASON FOR BLACK PRIDE!!!! WAIT TILL I TELL THE NEGRO BACK AT THE OFFICE WHAT I DID FOR HIM AND HIS PEOPLE!". I guess im not racist diary i just like to make funny dark people jokes..... You know what sucks I think im the reason Obama made office............ NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! CURSE YOU SCIENCE FICTION BOOKS!!!! see ya diary im gonna hang myself now.....

The Stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.